Some people think a dog is a Canadian’s best friend, but the truth is it’s a storage unit.
Dogs are nice and all, but can a dog be used to store all your summer clothes in the winter, and all your winter clothes in the summer? Can a dog help with storing a toboggan and all that ski equipment you can’t exactly use when it’s 40 degrees outside? Are they going to bury it in your back yard? Or how about all the stuff from your cottage you need to bring back when you winterize it? Or the pool gear that you don’t need when it’s 40 below outside?
No, Dogs might be good friends, but a better friend is one that helps you store your stuff when that river next to your house starts creeping up to your back door. When your wife starts telling you that your stuffed animal collection has got to go- now! Or, when your husband complains that you don’t need a complete shoe collection for each season and you need to show him that there’s plenty of room for more. And what about that stuff you inherited from your grandmother that you can’t bear to throw out because you know she’ll haunt you if you do? Is your dog going to help you take care of that too?
Of course, maybe the dog might be willing to sacrifice his house to let you store a few things, but do you really think your favorite furniture from college is going to fit in there? Or the giant inflatable Santa and Frosty that your wife loves to stick on the lawn every Christmas? What about those gifts that your in-laws gave you, the ones you can’t stand to look at, but need to pull out whenever they call and say they’re coming over? Do you think you can stick those in the doghouse without Fido chewing on them? (As much as you might want him to…)
Or maybe you have a business selling stuff on eBay that you find while you’re garage sale hunting every spring and summer, do you think the dog is going to help you store that? Where can you store those thousands of Country and Western records you just got a great deal on? Or that stack of canned Moose-meat you’re sure will sell if you can just find the right buyer? How about all that fabric you got for 5 cents a yard? Do you think your dog will help you find a place to put that where it can be safe and dry until you make that perfect set of curtains?
No, sorry puppy, but you’re just not up to the task. A storage unit is a Canadian’s new best friend, and it’s always there for them in rain or shine, snow or sun. And you don’t even have to feed it or get up in the middle of the night to let it out to pee.